Marilyn Mendoza (5.28.06)

Waiting

Writing is lighting my path
stumbling and bumbling my way for a laugh
Just for today
I strive to obey
I cry, I sigh,
but TRY, always TRY
You must move ahead until your dead
or die before your time
active, not passive
taking chances
never refusing dances
The prance of life
Is full of strife
but all we know until we go
never let life defeat you or beat you
just greet you
rise up and be brave
Its your life you:ll save
we;re too soon in the grave
be great
don:t wait




Manilla 1990 Tondo

Looking out of my air conditioned taxi or *aircon* as they say ther in Tondo. Tondo- Manila, where the poorest of the poor live. Tondo, the slum of slums. Sights sounds and smells of Tondo engulf me.

A mother in rags sits on a sidewalk holding her naked baby. It Christmas in Tondo.

Another family push a cart. The cart is their home. A baby is asleep in their home. A baby is asleep in the cart on top of all the familys possessions.

The streets are full of garbage. Some of the garbage is on fire. Some of the garbage just rots in the hot tropical sun. The smell is detestable

People talk here of *Smoky Mountain:, the major grbage dump of Manila. People live there right in the middle of the dump, mostly orphins, and make a living by scavaging rubbish. It reminds me of a living hell, like Gehenna, the burning garbage dump in Jerusalem depicted in the Bible.

People in Topndo speak of Smokey Mountain with hope. "At least the children are earning more than we can here" they say.

Grease tht hs be reused it seems since the beginning of time permeates the whole Manila, but in Tondo its much worse. It combines with the worst pollution you can imagine to form a burning noxious poison that affects all the senses. In Manila most people have handkerchiefs pressed to their faces at all times. In Tondo I saw not one.

In Manila, the residents are poor but they sacrifice and scratch for their dignity. They hide their poverty behind * Calvin Klein* jeans and gold chains. I am told they sometimes don:t eat for days to acheive this,

In Tondo there is no such pretense. The poverty is deeper. The residents accept their poverty and try to survive and even thrive despite it.

Children of all ages and sizes, looking in our aircon taxi, with longing begging for a Christmas present. I look at them hopelessly, give them a few pesos, and wonder how I would feelif our places were changed. My friends here call it an accident of birth. I call it frightening. How would I manage in their place. What can I do for the children?

Do I see hope in Tondo? A "calesa" (a horse drawn carriage) is being used to give a lucky family a Christmas ride to a lucky family in Tondo. The horse is so skinny you can see all his ribs, and yellow foam is seeping out of his mouth. I wonder how such a skinny hourse can carry such a load. The family is a large one, as are so many Filipino families. This is an extended one, grandparents, parents, and as always children upon children are packed in the calesa dressed shabbily but in their holiday best. I wonder how long the family has saved up for this treat. All year probably. They look happy. This is a major characteristic of Filipinos . To be happy despite adversity, despite this hell of a life in Tondo. Filiipinos call it being flexible, I call it a miravle.

I see mostly happy people here in the Phillippines. "We are happy because we are together", a Tondo store owner tells me. " We have our family, friends, we share our food and possessions, we gather together. The family is everything." I observe the Tondo residents touch constantly. Haznds join, arms around shoulders, pushing, crowding against one another, laughing together, teasing, always together.

Some say there is a paradox in Tondo----The Santo Nino Church-- Santo Nino means child Saint and represents the baby Jesus. There are many Santo Nino churches in the Phillippines, b ut Tondos is one of the oldest and well known. We attend Midnight mass but we cant fit inside. The humanity is overwhelming. We end up in the parking lot. A loud speaker blasts "God bess you merry gentlemen" and two priests wse can hear but not see conduct a mellow but lovely service. A stranger takes my hand and wishes me a merry Christmas.

After the service the church empties and I climb the gray stone steps to peek inside. I am dazzled by gthe sight of the Santo Nino shining wsith a crown of pure gold framing a sweet face with silky brown hair. Flowers surround him. I am surrounded suddenly with the feeling of joy the people must feel when the Santo Nino is paraded through the streets during Tondos famous festivals.

There is no accident the people here shine with a spiritual beauty I have never before wittnessed.

An old toothless woman takes my hand. Merry Christmas and welcome to Tondo. She looks happy this christmas. So am I